Keeping self-love first in your relationship: Why you should learn to love yourself first, before you love someone else

Male Escort Melbourne – 18 February 2022


There are so many things that do their part in making a healthy relationship. It’s similar to how you grow a plant in your garden. It needs good soil, sunlight, water, an occasional bug repellant spray and many, many other little things. A relationship too is built on the foundation of love, respect, honesty, commitment and other little things. However, there’s a key to a successful relationship that we often don’t recognise – the relationship with ourselves.



All relationships, of course, face their own unique kind of challenges, disagreements, and conflicts. Though both the partners play their hand in most of them, some of the problems, if dug deeper turn out to be the result of the inner demons or personal challenges that one of the partners faces. 



It’s rightly said that if you never heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you. If you don’t face your own challenges and learn to love yourself first, this toxicity will definitely not remain contained within you. It will spill over and first affect the ones who are the closest and dearest to you.




Fall in love with yourself, first – the path to self acceptance


Gina Swire, the author of PS I Love Me explains that “The type of relationship you attract from a place of self-love is exponentially different to that of a pre-self-love awakening.” If you haven’t done a deep dive into yourself and explored all that you are, how will you be able to accomplish that in some other person?



It’s not just about exploring, it’s about accepting what you’ve explored – pretty or not. Sometimes you need to re-break damaged bones to heal them. If you don’t accept that you’ve developed the mindset of dominating the ones close to you in an unhealthy way because of your childhood conditioning – or allowing yourself to be unhealthily dominated – you’ve to first accept this as one of your inner demons or flaws that you need to work on. If you don’t accept it as one or even if you do, you refuse to do something about it, how will the journey of your self-acceptance and self healing truly begin?




Build healthy boundaries


There’s a fine line between giving love to another person in a relationship and giving it all to them. You should know where your boundaries are, and these boundaries should be fiercely protected as they keep you well, you



You should definitely give love to yourself and the ones who matter to you, but don’t mistake it with pleasing someone else by prioritising them or their needs all the time. Trust me, it would make you extremely unhappy in the long run. Sadly, I’ve seen many people do it, and especially women, who are subconsciously taught to give more than seek. They are conditioned to be givers and to always think of others before themselves. It’s important to understand that this is not healthy. You should be able to differentiate when you need to prioritise yourself and your needs. Charity begins at home!




Checking in with you…Did you check in with yourself today?


It’s a good practice to do a daily, or at least a weekly check in with yourself. How am I feeling today? Is something bothering me? What can I bring into my life to make it wholesome? What can I get rid of that’s not serving me?



It’s weekly check ins like this that would help give you insights as to what you need to take one step closer to accepting yourself and practising self love. Take care and love yourself.




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