Make an extra effort

12 July 2018

Life is really too short to hold grudges; to forever be arguing with people; to fight with others.

Maybe more especially  to have disagreements with those nearest and dearest—more often than not over money matters or, close to the top of the list, about sibling rivalry.

Still, unfortunately, it’s often said that the ones we love the most can be the ones we hurt or hate the most.

If you carefully think about sibling rivalry, it so often runs true. In a family of two or more children we usually start fighting with our brother and/or sisters over petty matters when we are young, and these small beginnings can develop into long term dislikes or resentments.

In a family of more than, say, five or six children, sometimes it’s almost as if there are several distinct, competing, warring factions—with the characters of individual children so different it’s sometimes hard to believe the children are of the same parents. These, initially minor, feuds often carrying over to adulthood—with brothers and/or sisters taking sides, and maybe not talking to or seeing each other for years on end!

So, perhaps, there is no wonder that there are so many dysfunctional families out there with feuds passed down the generations, with, possibly, uncles not liking aunties or mothers not liking the wives of their sons and so on.

But if we can’t get on with our blood relatives, those supposedly closest in terms of familial bonds to ourselves, what hope is there when we have to deal with non-blood related friends or strangers?

Let’s leave total strangers and those we work with to one side for now (especially our co-workers who in many cases we force ourselves to get on with, or least acknowledge without any major strife, primarily as we have to co-exist on a day basis with them).

What about the people we meet, develop feelings for and become romantically involved with?

In the early days of a relationship, it’s all sweetness and light; in the honeymoon phase, if you will. Then routine sets in and we start taking our partners for granted; start taking out our stress or anger on them (often as we can’t do this with co-workers or people we meet when out and about in our everyday lives and who upset us). Small arguments become big ones and, before you know it, relationships are getting spoiled, feelings are being hurt and, sadly, one partner wants out as they can’t take the angst any more…

Yet most of this can be prevented by taking a step back and taking an objective look at things; weigh up both points of view, make rational not emotional decisions… and don’t be afraid to say sorry…

Easy to say, I know, when you are the in the middle of a major argument or disagreement.

But would you rather have harmony within the family and with the ones you love, or a lifetime of disagreements and perpetually tense situations?

As I said at the beginning, life is too short for all of that; so go on, make that extra effort: try to get along with everyone—and see how good you feel when it all works well!




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