You and Your Partner Speak Different Love Languages? It Might Be a Blessing in Disguise!
Male Escort Melbourne – 13 September 2021
You and Your Partner Speak Different Love Languages? It Might Be a Blessing in Disguise!
Here’s a Story.
It is your birthday, and in the back of your mind, you secretly may have some expectations about something amazing that your partner would do for you. You’ve been hinting at that lovely coffee machine with those extra settings you’ve been looking for the past whole year! Your boo definitely knows exactly what you want and they would bring that heavenly, mean bean machine, wrapped up cosy in a pretty little box in the evening, when they meet you in the evening.
The day goes by as you prepare for the lovely evening, where just the two of you would spend some quality time together and admire that wonderful coffee maker that would begin to serve delicious, creamy coffee to you from the very next day. Oh, just perrrfect!
Finally, the time comes. You greet them at the door, and behind all that lovely talk and affectionate kisses in between, you wonder when the awaited present would pop up its head! Lo and behold! They do take something out of their pocket, and it’s obviously way smaller than what you were actually expecting. Two movie tickets to that latest thriller movie everyone’s been talking about! They are excited to watch it and confident you’ll love it as well. The most romantic date for my special lady, they said, with no idea at all that you’ve been fuming inside, all red and firy, ready to burst out at any moment.
Now, does this mean they love you any less? Does it mean that you expect too much from them? Or, do they not value you enough to consider your desires? Surprise surprise, more often than not, it turns out to be none of those things!
Well, this is what happens, at least in the initial phase of a relationship, when the two people in it have different love languages.
Now, if you read more about love languages, you’ll find most blogs and even books, taking different love languages in a couple to be a bad thing, something that you cope with. Well, I don’t agree. Speaking different love languages means more excitement, and an opportunity to explore the other side of the spectrum, given both partners understand each other’s differences.
It’s said there are 5 love languages to be specific. Heard of them? Probably you have, but if you haven’t, let me give you a brief idea about what they are. As you might have guessed from the name, according to his book The Five Love Languages, relationship therapist Gary Chapman explains that there are five key ways in which couples express their love in a relationship:
The Five Love Languages
1. Words of Affirmation
When you’re affirming your love towards your special someone, when you say, “I have faith in you!,” “You can do this!” or simply, “I love you,” you’re showing your partner how much you love them using words of affirmation.
2. Acts of Service
When you do some work or perform some activity that helps your partner in some way and makes their life a wee bit easier or better, it is an act of service. For example, making them a lovely meal, doing the dishes, or taking them out to a nice date!
3. Receiving and Giving Gifts
To some it might feel like a more “materialistic” way of showing love, but let me assure you, that’s not the case! It can be something as expensive as a new car, or it can be as symbolic and meaningful as a love letter or an album with all your memorable photos together!
4. Quality Time
It’s rightly said that time is the most expensive thing someone can ever give to you. It’s limited; once it’s spent, it never comes back. While some partners love receiving gifts or appreciative words from time to time, others want nothing but quality time.
In the busy schedules of today’s times, it’s become more difficult than ever to steal some time out of your day that’s dedicated to your partner and nothing else. If you or your partner wants to spend some quality time together, make it a point to see it happen. It can be as little as one hour a day, but it’s crucial.
5. Physical Touch
Intimacy and physical affection is one of the primary foundations of a relationship, keeping it healthy and both partners feel loved. Don’t take this language as something you have to make a significant effort for! It can be as simple as an affectionate touch on hand, a hug, or even a peck on the cheek!
Not sure which love language(s) you speak? This quiz on Chapman’s website could worth checking out! Also, there’s another of my blog posts worth visiting, where I’ve covered the 5 love languages that are a part of Chapman’s book review.
Now, I’ve observed many women and men in relationships. While some are definitely successful and what you’d call fulfilling, many are riddled with challenges related to love languages. They do seem huge and concerning, but that is a result of airing problems that were trivial in the beginning.
Today, I’m your love translator and I’ll help make your language differences a blessing.
Here’s What to Do When You Speak Different Love Languages:
Understand Your Partner Isn’t All-Knowing
Remember the coffee machine story? Well, it’s apparent that your partner would know a lot of things about you, and many of them without even telling them, but it doesn’t mean that they’d know everything. Think about yourself, do you know everything about your partner, what they’re thinking right now, what they might desire right at this moment? No? Maybe? Exactly! It’s impossible for any person on this planet to know each whim and want of yours, unless you explicitly tell them.
Understand Different Love Languages Make a Relationship Potentially Stronger
Try to understand what language your partner speaks. In our coffee machine example, one partner clearly loves receiving gifts and spending quality time to know they’re loved, and the other does acts of service to show their love. If they understand this difference, then the next time they have the opportunity to do something in a language their partner would understand. Wouldn’t this understanding and partnership make their relationship even stronger than it was?
Understand That Your Partner’s Love Language(s) May or May Not Change
You love cooking for them, doing their laundry, or taking their car out for a nice wash, but realise soon that all they want is to hold hands, cuddle all day, and give bear hugs every once in a while. Is this difference bad? Is this difference big enough to cause real conflicts? In my opinion, not really. It would be nice if a couple complements each other like this. What good would it be if you both crave physical affection all day and end up doing no household chores at all? Or, would it be interesting if you both accomplish necessary stuff all day, without even snuggling close together at night once everything’s done and dusted for the day?
Understand It Takes Two to Tango
While you’ve to be understanding and accommodating when it comes to different love languages, it’s not just your responsibility to do so. Your partner has an equal hand in this and they should make an equal effort in understanding your love language(s) as well. When it’s about giving, it’s also about receiving. When it’s about knowing your significant other, it’s also about knowing yourself. Yin and Yang.
Lost in Translation? How about Loved in Translation
Liked these tips on navigating love languages? There’s more! Head to this link for another blog I wrote about love languages, where I’ve taken this discussion further.
Wishing you all the best in your translations!!
