Slow Sex for new lust in marriage

28 December 2019 | Male Escort Melbourne

It is no secret that, unfortunately in a lot of cases, the desire, or lust, in marriage with the years is often less – and sex becomes one of the rarer events of togetherness at some point. Incidentally, this applies to most long-term couples, not just spouses. It does not have to be a sign that something is fundamentally wrong with the relationship. However, lustlessness can be an indication that both partners could be more awake in being with each other again.

Just as lovers look, touch, feel, and kiss during the first months and years – So too can they look, touch, feel, and kiss later in their relationship, if they are prepared to put in the effort, to keep their sex, and lust, alive. 

After many years together, we know the body of our partner almost inside out. We know the particularly sensitive points. We understand what our counterpart likes. We feel safer and know how to give pleasure. Unfortunately, this knowledge quickly can ensure that we run our well-rehearsed “program.” We no longer look and respond to what is happening in our arms and under our touch because we know what to do next. And so inadvertently both partners can keep getting a little more “bored” in bed from time to time. 

Even after many years together, a relationship can provide many pleasurable, passionate, and exciting moments. And also, if the love life has already fallen asleep, there are certainly ways back to the common, which is lust. 

One way to do this is with Slow Sex.

Anyone who hears the term “slow sex” and thinks that solving all bed problems will be accomplished by merely slowing down is wrong. Slow sex is not sex in slow motion. But deeply touching, fulfilling sex that leads to less pressure, stress, and a wonderful intoxicating intimacy. This easy to find, pure joy, prepares and makes both partners really happy. Sex gives new, deep connection and at the same time refreshes the relationship. 

Practicing slow sex is easy. After all, it is just normal sex that happens unintentionally, and in a relaxed, and mindful way. 

Slow Sex can be broken down into three practice phases. Keep in mind of course, there are many different ways to replenish your love life, and bring back your lust. This is one of them.

So, in this method which many use, the three phases are:

⦁ Orgasm

⦁ Excitement

⦁ Movement

From these points, you can watch very well where you are in the slow sex learning process. Most couples already have pleasant experiences during the first learning phase and experience a profound transformation.

Generally, there are no rules for slow sex as long as it succeeds because slow sex describes an attitude rather than a set of rules or exact process steps. 

Let’s take a look at the phases.

Orgasm:

There are no orgasms in the three practice phases. This is a big challenge for most couples because conventional sex is often about orgasm. However, with the rule of not having an orgasm while having sex together, you are laying an essential foundation for slow sex. This rule is also about sexual trust. The beautiful thing is, if you agree with your lover that you do not have orgasms while having sex together during the practice phases, or you are not reaching for orgasms, you will be able to enjoy being together fully. 

So you are entirely in the present and can allow whatever may come without putting you under orgasm pressure.

What we are able to discover at the beginning of our Slow Sex journey is that if you know during sex that it’s not about orgasm, a whole new “experience world” is created for you. You will discover countless “sweets” on your partner that you can enjoy: discover areas that you hadn’t paid attention to before.

Excitement:

The second point that is noticed within the phases is the arousal. On the way to slow sex, make sure your excitement is not getting too high. An important reason not to let the excitement rise too high is obvious. If it is too high, and you are not allowed to have an orgasm, it often leads to frustration. 

It is also a very high art, with high excitement, to remain intentional and relaxed. With low arousal, it is much easier to be unintentional and to give up an orgasm without being frustrated. However, that does not mean that it is not very enjoyable – and that’s what you’ll find best when practicing. To make it clearer again: For slow sex, you need no excitement. For slow sex does not need to saturate and nourish.

Phase one is about not allowing higher arousal than 2 (on the 0-10 excitement scale). Here you gain experience of what it is like to have sexual closeness without much sexual arousal and desire. This is the most significant learning experience and lays the foundation of knowledge for everything that comes later. In Phase two, the arousal may be a bit higher, and in Phase three, it may be a bit higher still, but not so much that you run the risk of having an orgasm.

Movement:

We recommend that you do not move in the first learning phase. Your body should be completely relaxed during this phase. In the early learning phase, experience each other. It also helps most people to reduce arousal and to train their intentionlessness. Do not read this description so rigidly that you behave like frozen or ban your partner from any movement immediately. Of course, you are always allowed to caress, kiss, stroke, and clench. However, there should be no perpetual body movement and especially no constant pelvic movement. 

In the first phase, think of a cozy hammock, relax in it and enjoy the contact, the warmth, and the quiet proximity to your partner.

In the second phase, a few small movements of the pelvis are allowed. These movements should come from the body itself and not be “made.” They are more likely to be allowed than they are made active. It helps to listen in to the body and to perceive where an impulse to movement arises. This trains especially the mindfulness for you and your partner’s physical desire. We understand listening as a mindful, curious feeling where something pleasing appears in the body, not a pleasure.

In the third phase, you can allow more movement. Again, you do not intentionally make the movement, but keep your attention attentive to your body, and the body of your lover, and give more impulses than in the previous phases of learning, because now you can allow more excitement. It is particularly vital in stage three that you do not get an agitation level of more than 6 (on the 0-10 scale) from the movement. Let yourself be moved by the love impulses and sexual feelings in your body. Keep using the Slow Sex test to keep you from getting frustrated from the encounter. This trains you in the mindless mindfulness.

All Phases Always Have The Following In Common: 

They all have no destination. Even at the end of Phase three, there is no goal. One is always in the moment and listening to the body, what happens next.

With the movements you do not intentionally get more pleasure – You let the changes happen, listen, and be surprised by the resulting feelings.

The body is relaxed in every phase. Every body part should always be intentionally relaxed.

In all three phases, it’s about enjoying what’s “there” and not planning what’s going to be beautiful, not even orgasm.

I hope you enjoy practicing and enjoying these Slow Sex ideas. 

And keep in mind that these are ideas, not a rule book. There is of course no rule book for sex with your lover – It’s about being spontaneous, relaxed, mindful, and in the moment. 

Also remember that some marriages may not be able to be made more fulfilling and loving, if there are many other problems within the relationship. I’m saying this as I don’t want you to put too much effort into a relationship that is failing, if the other person doesn’t want to make things work, as it may lead to disappointment on a lot of levels.

Take a look at where you’re at in your relationship, and if this may work for you, then go for it!

Soulful Sexuality – Making the connection between Sex and Spirit

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Leo Dale

Male Escort Blogger

Hi, I’m Leo, a Full-time Male Escort from Melbourne Victoria, with over 11+ years of experience in the “Making Women Happy” field

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