Evolution of Love (part 1)
18 July 2017
Just what is “love”?
You tell me 🙂
Well, naturally, everyone has their own answer to describe this most intangible of feelings.
In fact, clearly, love means different things to different people. Without doubt, it almost certainly means different things to men when compared to most women’s take on the subject.
Most men feel that love is a very physical thing. The act of making love, in the average man’s mind, demonstrates their love for the female in their life. Holding hands, kissing, caressing too. Arm around the shoulder, sweet nothings in the ear. Admiration of the form of their female companion and so on…
Sure, men have other thoughts about what love is, but most of them revolve around being sexually satisfied. I dare any man to deny it!
Females on the other hand have a much wider view on what it is to be loved. They need greater emotional attachment; need to feel that their man is there for them: to comfort and support them mentally as well as physically; to provide for them and to show love via gifts, surprises and tokens of affection.
We all know there is a gulf between the genders but, in my view, nothing demonstrates this more than when the perceptions of when love is called to account.
Yet, despite love being viewed differently by the genders, it can also be viewed as following a fairly set pattern as it evolves in stages through the life cycle of a romance.
Think back to your first feelings of what you took for “love”, maybe in your very early teens. The yearnings, the crushes, the so-called “puppy love” syndrome. Love without physical contact.
Such love evolving into some form of intimacy with the one who had your attention at that time; perhaps holding hands, spending some special time together; that first kiss (or two), probably with some light caressing.
By late teens with hormones running wild, who knows, maybe love blossomed into physical intimacy. The wonder of the first time that you actually… aaahhhh.
Fleeting feelings with different partners perhaps until you found the one (man) for you, possibly when you were in your early or mid twenties. Then, love was all consuming; all encompassing. Nothing else mattered. You had found your soul mate, or so you thought.
Holding down a career or managing a young family and love (and sex) may take a “back seat”; sure, you still love each other but maybe the feelings are not so intense, and the humdrum of a regular relationship means that there are more pressing things on the agenda than wondering if your man truly loves you.
But love is still there, binding a relationship. Or is it? Is it love or simply the responsibilities and commitments that go with a long term relationship?
Into your thirties and perhaps the physical side is still there and active (just). But do you still love your partner in the same way as when you first took your marriage vows or started living together? Or are you simply taking them for granted?
To be continued as part 2…