26 February 2019 | Male Escort Melbourne
Body Image – Is the perception that a person has of their physical self, and the thoughts and feelings that result from that perception. The way in which we see ourself. But is it really that important?
Yes, it sure is!
Our body image can be shaped in so many different ways. Our perception of what we are ‘supposed to’ look like, by the media, and peers, can cause us to develop body image issues. The truth is, there is NO way that you are ‘supposed to’ look. You are a unique individual, and your body is unique!
Body image issues can also arise from the way we were treated when we were younger; from how we interpret the way those around us speak to us; and also, unfortunately, from being in an abusive relationship. When one is in an abusive relationship, it is common for their partner to be controlling, and try to keep them ‘çontrolled’ by putting them down, and making them feel bad about themselves. Which is disgusting, but unfortunately it happens. (If this is happening to you, there is always a way out.)
Having a poor body image, or seeing your body image in a negative way, for whatever reason, can affect you negatively in so many ways.
It can cause crash dieting, over-eating, starving oneself, anorexia, and binge eating. These things are all bad enough, but it even causes much more than that!
Having a negative body image can cause you to feel tired, lazy, anxious, lethargic, depressed, unwanted, unloved. It can make you feel unworthy, pessimistic, and cause you to be an overall negative person, unfortunately.
Having a positive body image, on the other hand, can make you feel happy, confident, energetic, youthful, lovable, loving, and loved.
It is all about how you choose to see yourself.
Of course, when I say that it’s all about how you choose to see yourself, that doesn’t mean that people who have body image issues, and are unhappy with the way they look, chose to feel that way! Although it means that if you do have body image issues, you can choose to take action and feel better.
So, how do you change your body image?
One important way is to learn how to accept yourself, and what you look like; and love the way you look. Once you love the way you look, it will be much much easier to change your appearance in ways that you might want to.
Some people can be overweight and be happy, love themselves, and love how their body is. That’s great. If they decide they’d like to lose some weight, they will find it much easier, because they already love how they look.
Compare that to someone who is overweight, and is unhappy with their appearance, hates the way their body is, and doesn’t love themself. Would they find it easy to lose weight? Not so much.
You can’t be in tune with your body if you hate how you look.
To look after our health, we need to look after:
Our mental well-being,
Our physical well-being,
Our emotional well-being,
Our spiritual well-being.
When we look after one area, and only focus on that area, the others might fall out of balance. To make the most of whatever we want to achieve, we need to look after all areas of our health.
If you have body image issues related to being overweight, and you’d like to lose some weight, it can be so much easier when you make an effort to become positive about your body image.
Instead of thinking “I’m so overweight, I hate my body. Why can’t I be more fit?”
Try thinking “I’m a bit overweight, but that’s okay. I’m happy with my body, and I’m kinda beautiful. I’m going to be able to make myself feel and look even more beautiful, starting now.”
When you think you are sexy, you can feel sexy, and be sexy
When you believe that you are sexy, then you will feel much more sexy, or attractive, and people will find you sexy…
“When you believe you are sexy, other people will see you as sexy too! Confidence is sexy.”
-Dr Leo Dale
A really great way to become more positive about your own appearance, is to make a note, a nice little drawing, and stick it on your bathroom mirror, or anywhere you might see it a lot, maybe even in your car. Though on the mirror can be quite ideal.. and have the note read:
“Smile. You’re Beautiful.”
Reading this affirmation multiple times per day helps your mind to realise that you are beautiful!
This isn’t creating false hope for people, making them think that they are beautiful if they’re not. Because guess what, everyone is beautiful, in their own way!
Everyone is unique, and has characteristics and an appearance that no one else has. You should be proud of that.
One important thing to remember about body image is that if you see your body image negatively, that isn’t how everybody else sees you. That is how you see yourself.
So many people say that they feel like they don’t look attractive, they might have too many freckles, be overweight, or have curves in places they don’t want to. They might not like the look of their own face, and don’t like looking in the mirror.
That doesn’t mean that other people see them this way!
They might think that other people see them how they see themselves, but often times how we see ourselves, is only how we see ourselves, not how others see us.
The most critical person of our own appearance is ourself!
Just to repeat that, because it’s an important thing to remember when it comes to how we see ourself – The most critical person of our own appearance is ourself.
To give an example of this, I remember when I used to have acne, years ago, and I’d look in the mirror and think ‘yuk, I look a bit unattractive.’ But I noticed that people around me weren’t thinking the same thing. People were telling me I looked beautiful. That’s when I realised that people didn’t care about little things like that.
I’m quite happy to have very clear skin these days, as acne can make us, within ourselves, feel all kinds of unattractive. But looking back, maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought.
I used to look in the mirror and think hmm, I’ve got a few freckles. And then I’d see people saying that they felt unattractive because they had lots of freckles. I’d tell them that they weren’t unattractive, that they look beautiful with freckles – and that’s the truth.
Then I’d think, well hold on, how come I’m getting all down about my tiny amount of freckles, when I actually see people who have freckles and find them beautiful?
Because we are more critical of ourself, than others are!!
When we are in the state of having a negative view of our own body image, then even when someone compliments us on how good we look, we can somehow take that to mean that they are saying that we don’t look good!
Our mind does funny things, and we become what we think we are.
Did not Descartes say “I think therefore I am?”
If you are constantly telling yourself “I’m unattractive, I’m unattractive, I’m unattractive..” then you will feel unattractive.
You will think other people are saying how unattractive you are, when really they are complimenting you.
And you will engage in behaviour that makes you feel more unattractive. As an example, you may feel unattractive because you’re overweight, and because you feel unattractive, you feel lazy, don’t want to exercise, and you eat more food, so that you can find comfort.
All of which makes you more overweight.
If instead you were to say to yourself “I’m attractive, I’m comfortable with where I’m at. I may not look perfect, but no one does. I look pretty attractive..” then you will feel attractive!
When people compliment you, you will take their words on board, and feel better about yourself. Which in turn will make you feel like complimenting others, making them feel better about themselves as well.
You will engage in behaviour that makes you feel more attractive. You will feel a confidence and energy that makes you feel like exercising. And guess what happens when you exercise – you feel even more energy, and more positive about stuff.
You will feel more able to take on the world, which will help you with all areas of your health.
Well you might be saying now, that “this all seems well and good, to decide to love how you look, and then be happy within yourself, which changes your behaviour, and makes you look and feel even better – but Dr Dale, what if I can’t change how I feel about myself?”
There is an exception to this rule, sometimes we may have an imbalance of biochemicals in our brain, caused by depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions. This physiology in the brain can sometimes make thinking positive about ourselves difficult.
The human brain is an amazing and complex thing – In fact it is the most complex object in the known universe! Even as you are reading this, there are billions of neuro-transmitters in your brain firing off all kinds of stuff!
The amazing thing is though, that all of our thought, feelings, and beliefs, affect and alter the physiology and the neurochemistry in the brain… Making it actually possible to “Think yourself happy.”
Although, as I’ve said in a previous blog on mental health, sometimes one needs medication, to balance out things in the brain, and there is nothing at all wrong with that.
The paradox is though, that while a lot of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications can balance out brain function and biochemistry, and make you able to feel happy about yourself – as a side effect they can cause unwanted weight gain!
How unfair is that! Some people are overweight as a side effect of medication that is doing good for them. And this type of weight gain in some cases cannot be easily removed with exercise.
If this is the case though, I may have good news for you. These days there are newer medications that are used to treat depression and anxiety, that do not cause any change in weight or body metabolism. Like a lot of medications though, what works for one person may not work so well for another. I’d recommend to talk to your doctor (In this case not your Love Doctor, but your GP).
Just because someone is overweight, doesn’t always mean that they eat a lot of food, or eat unhealthily. It doesn’t always mean that they don’t exercise regularly. There can be a lot of reasons why people can have excess weight. You should never judge anyone.
“Judge not, that ye be not judged.”
– Matthew 7:1-3
How we view our own physical appearance, is very important. It can affect our actions all of the time, because it also affects our thoughts and beliefs. If we have a negative view of how we look, and how we perceive others may see us, it has an immeasurable amount of consequences on how we live our life.
If you want to change something about your body, then change it.
If you don’t want to or can’t change something about your body, then be happy with it!
You Can Do It!
Once you can break out of that cycle of feeling critical about yourself, and instead feel that you are attractive, that you are beautiful, then you will realise that there’s no point feeling down about how you look.
While often times it isn’t as easy as just switching off negative body image issues overnight… You can get to a place where you feel positive about your body.
Do things that make you feel beautiful. Be with people that make you feel beautiful.
But most of all, try every day to realise, that you already are beautiful.