“Men are from earth, women are from earth… Deal with it.”
6 August 2016
I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.”
Throughout the ages, many have pondered why men and women can seem so different to each other… That it’s almost as though we are from different planets!
“Men are from earth, women are from earth… Deal with it.” This quote is from Sandra Marchetti, and is the title of one of her books. I think Sandra’s book has quite a witty and appropriate title, because of course while both men and women can have a lot of differences, we have to ‘deal with it.’ No other choice! 🙂
For those who argue that men and women are so radically different in terms of characteristics, likes and dislikes, temperament and behaviour – it is very interesting to know one very important piece of proven biological information – namely that every fetus in the mother’s womb starts off its journey, for the first few weeks, seemingly genderless, or some say more female than male.. Showing that at one point very early on, males and females were the same.
Yet, whilst biologically we all originate from the same organisms and tissue, and have broadly the same requirements in our lives, it cannot be denied that females and males are different in many ways – by and large, we think differently, react to things differently, like and dislike different things and so on.
Much of this can be directly attributed to the chemicals and hormones in our bodies and how they shape our thoughts and moods and sensitivities.Yet a lot of these differences can also be attributed to our social conditioning and the pressure brought to bear by society generally to conform to stereotypical gender roles and behavioural patterns.
It is undeniable that men and women differ in many ways. Without making too many generalisations, as everyone is different of course, it sometimes seems that in general, the average man wants sex, more than love. In general, the average woman wants love, more than sex.
Of course this is not the rule, and for many people this doesn’t apply at all. But in general, it’s indisputable that there are very fundamental differences in the way that men and women think, feel, and behave.
It’s not just our bodies and sexual functioning that are different. Men and women are different in many ways.
Men, in general, are more direct, more to the point, and say it how it is.. Or don’t say anything. Perhaps even when they should say something.
Women, in general, are more emotional than men, think about things a lot more, and many women could agree, at times, it can be often easy to overthink things.
Both of these points can be seen in one sentence from Anastasia Steele’s mother, in EL James’ Fifty shades of grey:
“Men aren’t really complicated, Ana, honey. They are very simple, literal creatures. They usually mean what they say. And we spend hours trying to analyze what they’ve said, when really it’s obvious. If I were you, I’d take him literally. That might help.”
Sometimes it can seem that men and women are so different to each other.. An example can be when you look at same-sex attracted people who are in relationships. I find that some same-sex attracted couples are the nicest people you’d ever meet! They are happy, friendly, accepting of others, and most importantly for a relationship, get along with each other well! It makes you think, we are men from mars and women from venus, trying to get along with each other, across the vastness of space.. And there are men from mars and women from venus who get along better with people from their own planet! They understand each other! It makes sense.
Though of course, we are all from the same planet, and all men and women should be equal, and accepting of all our similarities and differences.
The fundamental ways in which men and women are different, has caused the saying to develop, “Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus,” though of course both men and women are from earth, and are much more similar than we think!
Communication between men and women is important, and it’s important to be able to acknowledge our differences, and our similarities, and deal with it! 🙂
It’s interesting to note that, in societies where the disparity between the genders is reducing and equality is being sought, women are showing themselves to be as capable as any man in terms of abilities to lead (companies or governments for example). While the average man is (in general, not always of course!) stronger and more physically capable than a woman, and traditionally known as being the more dominant of the species – It turns out that women are becoming more recognised as being just as capable as men, and of course much better than men in some areas.
After all, what do they say, behind every good man is an even better woman!
It’s also interesting to note that, with developments in scientific studies, it is apparent that all males have an element of femininity in their makeup, and all females have an element of masculinity in their makeup. In the end, it’s all down to degrees. It’s hardly surprising that this is the case, given our origins as mentioned above.. and it’s only been in the last 4-5 years that wider recognition has been given to the fact that there may be more than two genders anyway! (think transgender, non-binary, gender fluid etc). There can be physical differences between genders, as well as differences in the gender that we identify as.
So, the next time someone says we are from different planets, correct them and simply remind them that we are all part male and part female and it’s just those parts of our characteristics which dominate which allows people to assume our gender.
After all, while men and women can be so different in so many ways.. Opposites can attract, and lets not forget that men and women have so many similarities as well! and worldwide there are many many men and women in relationships, that love each other, and manage to see that we are both from thesame planet! And even if we were from different planets, love can cross that space, and bring people together. After all, when you think about it, we are truly amazing beings.
* In writing this blog, I’ve read a little more about Sandra Marchetti’s book titled “Men are from earth, women are from earth… Deal with it.” And I’ve decided it sounds too interesting to write a blog about this topic and not read it!
So in the last few days I’ve just went to amazon.com and purchased a copy, downloaded to my Kindle. I’ve just started reading it, and am finding it interesting, and thought to write a book review of it when I’m finished.
So stay tuned to my blog in coming weeks, to hear my thoughts on the book. 🙂